Christmas Limited Edition Zombie Tools Bushlicker

ERover82

Well-known member
Nov 26, 2011
3,059
41
Darien Gap
Leadership. It takes strength of character, courage of convictions, and a weapon more badass than all the other douchebags willing to follow you. For the discerning leader of a post-apocalyptic squad, ZT introduces the d’Capitan: Sabre
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HiSPL

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2016
60
0
College Station , TX
I mean.....

These are grown-ass men talking about a sci-fi genre like it's actually going to happen. AND they are making tools to use and selling them, for a pretty penny, to other grown-ass men who are indulging in this fantasy, made-up, cukoo shit!
 

kennith

Well-known member
Apr 22, 2004
10,000
43
North Carolina
I mean.....

These are grown-ass men talking about a sci-fi genre like it's actually going to happen. AND they are making tools to use and selling them, for a pretty penny, to other grown-ass men who are indulging in this fantasy, made-up, cukoo shit!
These "grown-ass men" have been at this for some time now, and they know what they're doing. Their geometry explorations are very important.

The silly company image has served them well, and they make some pretty damned good edged tools and weapons at an excellent price. They're made by hand, by a small number of enthusiasts, and they're made in the US.

Their stuff normally comes at the end of a 2-6 month waiting list, so if they've got a few things ready to ship immediately it's worth noting.

Cheers,

Kennith
 

HiSPL

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2016
60
0
College Station , TX
Well thats just great for them. I'm super happy that someone, somewhere is making money on a trade. Thats fantastic.


I'm talking about the global phenomenom of "zombies" here. They are devaluing the worth of their work by associating it with zombies. I mean I stopped at a C-store on the way home and there was a zombie killrzz knife in the glass case for 4.99. How cool is it that these high end, handmade knives will be put in the same category as this shit:

 
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kennith

Well-known member
Apr 22, 2004
10,000
43
North Carolina
Could you do me a favor and run a link to that rather than posting the whole picture? It's quite large. Makes this all hard to read, and some might think that's what I'm pointing out.

Their blades aren't generally put into that category at this point within appropriate communities. They aren't selling to the average buyer, mind you. They capitalized on the "hard-core" image initially, before the main craze began, and it got them in the gate with an income. It was also curious enough to catch the attention of more pompous communities, who eventually just had to try them; if only as a joke.

Step forward, and their work is highly regarded by some of the most stick-in-the-mud users out there. Martial artists, test cutting enthusiasts, blade aficionados, servicemen, police, outdoors-men, and even people like myself who've spent decades training and even using them in the remaining rotten nations with blade cultures.

A significant advantage for me is actually their style. They can pass off (at a glance) as a machete with an inner-tube wrap; depending upon the pattern chosen. Even if you go long, they won't attract too much attention.

The performance is there. Will their Apakotana out-perform any of my commissioned Nihontos in cutting? Of course not, but it doesn't cost as much as a Ford Fiesta, either; and it's more durable, as well as easier to maintain. Tradition only goes so far, and once you accept that truth, you can move on.

Admittedly, it's a tough pill to swallow at first. :rofl:

One of their major advantages is the willingness to move into uncharted or forgotten territory. The blade community is stagnant, and stuck in it's ways. If it's not a traditional Katana or European sword categorized by Oakshott, it's simply ignored.

Let someone like Albion try a half-leaf blade. First, it would suck. Second, they'd drive their reputation (for what it's worth) into the ground. Third, they'd charge $1,500 for a pattern crafted via CNC stock removal, and shudder at the idea of it being used as intended. Fourth, they'd never even consider it, because it's not in their little book of "acceptable".

That's bullshit. Those guys can suck it, along with the rest of the production industry, and that's where the Zombie tools attitude shines. They don't give a fuck. I agree with their frustrations. Today, the deadliest (by body count) bladed weapon is a simple machete. There is a need for blades that are drawn from obscure history and re-imagined for modern, serious use.

These guys understand that.

You see a lot of fancy cutting out there, and might even assume a ZT product couldn't compete. There's no way it would be as elegant as one of the more expensive products on the market; one of the "acceptable" products.

Well, view the included picture. I've posted this before. That a 4X4X24" (I think; the length eludes me at this point) cardboard box. It was cut free-standing on end, empty, and cleanly. It wasn't hung, it wasn't impaled on a spiked cutting stand, it wasn't nailed down, and it didn't fall over.

I didn't use my expensive stuff to make that cut (though I do frequently). I did that with the Zombie Tools "Felon" Bowie knife; just to prove a point some time ago. That damned knife cuts almost as well as most swords costing four or five times as much, and stands it's own well enough beside knives weighing in closer to ten and twenty times as much.

They own that silly image, and wear it much better than anyone else could. I thought it would be a problem for them eventually, but they've won people over, and they never stop innovating. Zombie Tools products can quickly become an addiction. They're stuck with the name, now. If they change it, it would in a sense be selling out.

They fought hard for recognition as serious blade smiths, and they won; despite obstacles in every direction. I've always got an eye out to see what's coming next from Zombie Tools. When I got an e-mail saying they made a few "bush-craft" knives for immediate shipment, I jumped on it.

Looks like they're moving past experimentation with smaller blades now, with this and the "Scyllis". They'll seriously upset some people in the process, but that's what they do best.

Long live our American lunatics. :patriot:

Cheers,

Kennith
 

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HiSPL

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2016
60
0
College Station , TX
OK. Clearly you have an emotional investment in knives and swords and shit. I'll concede.

To be fair, I wasn't arguing about Zombie Tools in particular. I was wondering when the zombie craze in general will end. There's plenty of things out there to worry about that actually fucking exist. I mean, zombies make for a great movie, but so do aliens, flying kung fu guys, cars that do 200 on city streets, and guys with 13" peckers, but none of that shit exists! It's a story. Enjoy it and move on.
 

Tugela

Well-known member
May 21, 2007
3,993
22
Seattle
There's plenty of things out there to worry about that actually fucking exist.
I live in Seattle and spend a fair amount of time worrying about the Cascadian Subduction Zone and the fault that runs just under the surface close to my house. I was here for the Nisqually quake in 2001 and when the proverbial big one hits it's going to be a natural disaster with human consequences beyond anything we've seen in this country before. I'm prepared to last 3+ weeks without access to electricity or running water but I wonder if even that is not enough. There is no way of getting out by vehicle when all the bridges and highways collapse.

It's going to be a hell of a ride in my downtown skyscraper if it hits while I'm at work.
 

kennith

Well-known member
Apr 22, 2004
10,000
43
North Carolina
OK. Clearly you have an emotional investment in knives and swords and shit. I'll concede.

To be fair, I wasn't arguing about Zombie Tools in particular. I was wondering when the zombie craze in general will end. There's plenty of things out there to worry about that actually fucking exist. I mean, zombies make for a great movie, but so do aliens, flying kung fu guys, cars that do 200 on city streets, and guys with 13" peckers, but none of that shit exists! It's a story. Enjoy it and move on.
All true, and I agree with the industry criticism. That said, there's nothing wrong with a bit of fun and, to be entirely fair, we have indeed seen a rebirth of struggling industries as a result of the zombie craze; and a number of genuinely good products.

I honestly find the "tactical" industry more annoying. There's no sense of humor at all in there but, again, some good stuff has seen the light of day as a result.

Regardless, if you need a good knife, and Zombie Tools offers one that fits the bill, give them a shot sometime. For the record, I'm not associated with them in any way beyond being a satisfied customer. They don't know me from Adam, but I keep an eye on what they're up to. I've been waiting for them to finalize their khopesh for some time now, which is actually one of the first interests they explored.

I'd like to get my hands on one, just to see how the heck it's supposed to be used. Always been curious about that thing. I can get a nice bronze unit, as there's a guy doing good work in that regard, but I'd like a steel one, regardless of lacking accuracy. They'll turn out something inventive when they're satisfied with the pattern.

Edit: Thanks for shrinking the picture. That thing was massive. :rofl:

Cheers,

Kennith
 

HiSPL

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2016
60
0
College Station , TX
I honestly find the "tactical" industry more annoying. There's no sense of humor at all in there but, again, some good stuff has seen the light of day as a result.
True that. Nothing cracks me up more than seeing a fat guy decked out in full Johnny Tactical gear. They always remind me of Walter from the Big Lebowski.
Edit: Thanks for shrinking the picture. That thing was massive. :rofl:

Cheers,

Kennith
Yep. That happens sometimes when I post from my phone. It shrinks pics automagically so I never know how big they turn out!
 

AbnMike

Well-known member
Apr 6, 2016
780
9
Morgantown, WV
I've been to their shop. They are professionals, know their shit, and make excellent cutting things by hand, in America, and they make a living off of it.


That said, the name "Zombie Tools" is gay as fuck. About the only thing more gay than adding Zombie to your name is putting a Monster energy sticker on anything, anything at all.


As is America's fascination with zombie movies. Hell I can't believe people with more than two brain cells to rub together watch that ridiculous Walking Dead show, which is an insult to every zombie movie that came before it. But hey, it's America, we run shit into the ground until it's no longer making money. Then we will "reboot" it to see if we can squeeze a few more bucks out of it.
 

Drillbit

Well-known member
Oct 12, 2005
5,941
0
Glasgow Ky
I have two zombie tools. I have the Rat Bastard which is a capable (if heavy) machete. I also have the Sinbad that they just discontinued. It's less practical and more, I traded parts for it. I keep it at the shop in case an irate customer shows up, breathing death and murder because the oil pump I sold him was oily when he got it. If you are yelling at someone and they pull out a sword you really have to question how firm their grasp on reality is.
 

stu454

Well-known member
Callsign: KN4CBB
Dec 15, 2004
5,341
4
Atlanta, GA
...If you are yelling at someone and they pull out a sword you really have to question how firm their grasp on reality is.
Indeed.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TIZSjK46dUg?rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 

kennith

Well-known member
Apr 22, 2004
10,000
43
North Carolina
Just showed up yesterday. I'll try to get some shots of this thing later. It's pretty fucking nice. :D

I'll be using the hell out of the this, I'm sure. It's just an all around useful design.

Cheers,

Kennith
 

jhmover

Well-known member
Apr 23, 2004
5,567
0
California
"If you are yelling at someone and they pull out a sword you really have to question how firm their grasp on reality is."

This works. When I was in HS some guy tried to break into the house about 2AM, our parents were out. My step-brother got the Samurai sword his dad brought back from WW2 He stood in front of the door (which is on the 2nd floor) and raised the sword. I opened the door fast and he yelled "Banzai". Fucker about broke his neck getting down the stairs and then our beagle chased him down the street.