| Author |
Message |
    
William C. Leek (Onionman)
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 17, 2002 - 08:38 am: | 
|
‘Twas the Day Before Moab
(with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and/or Major Henry Livingston, Jr.)
'Twas the day before Moab, and all through the Rover
Not a creature was stirring, not even the posuer;
The duffelbags were stowed on the roofrack with care,
In hopes that they’d stay out of reach of the bears;
The children were nestled all snug in their carseats,
While visions of lifted Discos danced to strange beats;
And mamma with her Dramamine, and I with my jive,
Had just settled in for a long highway drive,
When from under the hood there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the Rover to see what was the matter.
Away to the skid plate I flew with a hunch,
Tore off my sunglasses and threw-up my lunch.
The oil on the surface of newly paved road
Gave the luster of Hellas to objects below,
When, what to my eyes I see in a panic,
But a miniature tow truck and eight tiny mechanics,
With a little old driver, so grizzled and wiley,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Kyle.
More rapid than eagles his technicians they came,
And he cussed, and shouted, and called them by name;
Now, Axel! Now, Ho Chung! Now Leslie! Now Lynden!
On, Roverine! On, Bluegill! On, Garrett! On, Karen!
Let’s check the %@*& GEMS! And check the transmission!
Now dash it all, dash it all, let’s get this thing fixin’!
As cable from a Warn winch quickly un-spooling,
They attacked this obstacle with much fancy tooling.
So to the T-case the mechanics they flew,
With a box full of tools, and a shop manual too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from these dolts
The wrenching and twisting of many stuck bolts.
As I took a deep breath and put hands to my head,
Round the Disco came Kyle and said, “It’s not dead (yet).”
He was dressed all in denim, from his head to his feet,
And his clothes were all covered in oil and grease;
A bundle of spare parts was flung on his back,
And he looked like a service manager just opening his pack.
His eyes were all glazed, his dimples all hollow!
His cheeks were all greasy, his nose sure to follow!
His drooling mouth was shaped in a weird smile,
And he looked like he was ready to spit half-a-mile;
The stump of a vacuum hose held tight in his teeth,
And hot steam encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face, on his forehead a boil,
That popped when he laughed, like swivel-joint oil.
He was chubby and plump, a right weird old elf,
And I gawked when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had diff-lock to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to reading
The work shop manual, to see what was needing.
And laying his hand on lever for diff-lock,
He fixed it so I could go up the slick-rock.
Then he sprang to his Disco, revved-up his eight pistons,
And away he drove, to the left slightly listing.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove over cliff,
“Look out below! (I think I am piffed.)”
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD DAY OF OFF-ROADING |
ema
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 17, 2002 - 08:42 am: |
|
Wow! I loved the story.
Happy Holidays to all,
-ema |
KJ
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 17, 2002 - 09:43 am: |
|
HAHAHAHA!!!! Another DiscoWeb Classic! Brilliant work, Onionman!
Karen  |
muskyman
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 17, 2002 - 12:07 pm: |
|
that took some work
nice job bill! |
Clif Ashley (Cta586)
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 17, 2002 - 09:45 pm: |
|
Im very impressed Mr. Leek.
-Clif |
Kim S (Roverine)
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 18, 2002 - 01:26 am: |
|
Oh, this brings some memories of last year back! Yes, definitly a classic ... Thanks, Bill
Kim |
John Moore (Jmoore)
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 18, 2002 - 07:46 am: |
|
Excellent!
-John |
gp (Garrett)
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 18, 2002 - 10:33 am: |
|
damn. where DOES it come from? he's got dah skills. |
Steve (Scrover)
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 18, 2002 - 03:38 pm: |
|
Stumbled upon another Rover version:
T'was the night before Christmas |
|
Closed: New threads not accepted on this page