Do you fit the profile of a SUV driver?

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Author Message   my96disco (Trevorh) Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 04:43 pm:    Read this today, and couldn’t believe the crap this person wrote, does he actually believe this! Thought some of you might like to read this persons twisted view. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2003/01/15/notes011503.DTL&type=morford Trevor   my96disco (Trevorh) Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 04:44 pm:    The other insightful article that was refered too. http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=14839   Todd W. McLain (Ganryu) Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 06:26 pm:    So that's why I'm so selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, insecure and vain. It's all Land Rover's fault!   M. K. Watson (Lrover94) Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 06:35 pm:    wow if that is the case then we could file a class action suit so we can get the proper medical attention and buy a honda hybird. mike w   Paul Grant (Paulgrant) Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 06:37 pm:    If I'm not mistaken, the profile of the typical SUV owner was developed by market researchers working for the auto manufacturers. Bradsher and the others recently cited on this and countless other bulletin boards didn't make these profiles up. While these articles are surely inflamatory, they really are little more than a composite of information collected from the likes of GM, Ford, and the NHTSA. Look, I own a couple of these gas guzzling beasts and will continue to drive them regularly, ELF be damned. However, I do believe it's important that we be a little more mindful of the implications our actions may have. Okay, I have my flame suit on...fire away.   Todd W. McLain (Ganryu) Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 06:38 pm:    I guess it's also why I don't want kids, since my trucks make me uncomfortable about parenthood. To think that the whole time it was screaming kids and dirty diapers that I didn't like. Guess I better blame this one on Toyota. Anybody up for a class-action lawsuit? We could all band together the same way fat people did against the industrial-food complex. Just think, we could sue the auto industry for making us selfish and giving us bad attitudes. Woo Hoo, free money here I come!   Jason Bard (Jbard) Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 06:40 pm:    Damnit Paul! Look away! You're being sucked in my friend! Or are you the MOLE???   Paul Grant (Paulgrant) Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 06:53 pm:    Definitly not a mole! I'm just trying to keep a bit of perspective here. This picture of the typical SUV owner was not developed by some crunchie, rather it comes to us straight from the makers of this product!   adtoolco Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 07:19 pm:    I blame Eisenhower and the Federal Highway Act(and Hitler for showing the way with the autoban) If it wasn't for all the nice roads and highways we drive on then we wouldn't be calling our rigs SUV's we would be calling them neccesary to get where you want to go vehicles. Anyway, diesel will set you free(until the fascists go after them next, stupid Al Gore)... Are you listening Land Rover North America! We want diesels! and we want them now! -Chris   Rob Davison (Pokerob) Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 07:55 pm:    i did the car talk car-o-scope when i made my range rover my daily driver to see how compatable it was and it was a perfect match! it said i was too dumb and poor for the disco i had,,, i guess they were right http://cartalk.cars.com/Survey/Results/Psychographics/   Peter Carey (Pcarey) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 12:10 am:    That guy was beat up regularly in Gym class and got a C- in Media Communications. That's just bad writing and mostly a rambling paraphrase of someone paraphrasing a book. goofy. pwc   Jake Hartley (Jake) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 08:29 am:    WHAT A CROCK OF SOCIALIST PANDERING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! Those bastards who write such garbage are beneath my contempt. Hopefully, one day, a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets.   Paul D. Morgan (V22guy) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 08:39 am:    Easy Easy Jake.....it's early....switch to decaf.   Alex Cabrera (Alexcabrera) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 10:04 am:    I do agree with the part of the almost zero evolution in the car mechanics.. More luxury does not equal better motor. Or Alternative fuels? Solar? Example: Went from 8088 to P4's running in the GIGS!! time span?   Eric N (Grnrvr) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 10:44 am:    It's a San Fran, CA paper. Do you guys expect anything other then that kind of crap from there?   KJ Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 11:10 am:    Unless and until there is a mandated equal size and weight to motorized vehicles, I'll drive what I want to drive. I did my time in my tiny Honda and various original VW bugs, David rode motorcycles for years, and crashed more than once because of drivers in automobiles. We've both run that gauntlet and survived. I'm saving the world resources by not procreating (G). Barren Karen   GregH Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 11:27 am:    Eric N's right-What do you expect from the People's Republic of SF? The official city flag is a rainbow-colored hammer-and-sickle... GregH   KJ Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 11:42 am:    Well, I don't know what GregH's and Eric's experiences in San Francisco might have been, but my last trip to SF a number of years ago left me with a somewhat different impression. I was DEEPLY disturbed by some events I personally witnessed, and they were NOT on the "hammer and sickle" side of politics. Have you guys ever been there? I think there's a large cross-section of opinion and action in that city, as in most places I've been. Karen   Eric N (Grnrvr) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 11:47 am:    Though I have not been there I have many friends that have lived there for years and also I work with folks that live there too. They give me the run down of stupid crap all the time.   KJ Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 12:00 pm:    Eric, no town beats the "Stupid Crap" drum more than our town, Washington, D.C. and that's for SURE on both sides of the political equation. Karen, does what she does, and needs Blue's tm'd tag line....Blue?   GregH Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 12:11 pm:    I was born and raised in California and have visited SF many times. It's a beautiful city but my impression of the city govt. and many media voices is liberal in the EXTREME. My "hammer-and-sickle" comment is sarcasm in reference to the liberal's seeming anti-capitalist, anti-free market mentality in choice of vehicles. However, in thinking about it "rainbow-colored swastika" probably is more appropriate. The bay area is a hot-bed of enivironazi activity.   Eric N (Grnrvr) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 12:18 pm:    KJ, you are right. I would love to have a forrest to the north and east of me. Wouldn't bother me a bit if D.C. fell off the face of the earth. Of course I would say the same thing about CA too.   GregH Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 12:42 pm:    Heeeyyy... California is great...It's just the people that bug me! LOL Ever read "The Death of Common Sense" by Philip K. Howard? GregH   Eric N (Grnrvr) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 12:53 pm:    I can't read..   gp (Garrett) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 12:59 pm:    then you're smarter than you look eric.   Eric N (Grnrvr) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 01:00 pm:    that's not saying much   GregH Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 01:10 pm:    LOL My point is that having a legal and regulatory system that so limits our freedoms and choices("For the greater good of the people") is essentially little different than a govt run by central planners. The SF politicians and others in this state definitely do NOT believe in Adam Smith's "invisible hand". GregH   Matt (Doc175) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 04:34 pm:    I grew up in SF, CA and that type of article is typical of the 50% communist, 50% socialist 100% idiot that plagues the area. I am willing to bet a months salary the author is one of those liberal grad students whose tuition is being paid by his CEO dad. He drives either a 1963 VW van that spews out more pollution in a week than my D1 does in a year or even better a 2002 BMW with a Greenpeace and Greatful Dean sticker on the back. He, all his faggot buddy have no ideas of their own, they just spit out a bounch of crap they heard some burned out professor babble about while they all sat around in their $150.00 Burkinstock 'Jesus sandels' while dropping acid during a "small group lecture" the CA tax payers paid for.   Jaime (Blueboy) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 04:38 pm:    hey hey hey now!! I also have a Greatful Dead sticker on my 2 LRs. don't stereotype Deadheads. Jaime   Matt (Doc175) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 04:44 pm:    By no means stereotyping anyone. I have had both a GD sticker and a pair of Burkinstocks. I am just trying to paint a picture of the type of person who is usually behind articles and "social movements" like this. Well, I guess I am stereotyping but I grew up with these type of people all the way though college and they make me sick. The worst part about them is that they probably never even went to a Dead show, or even the prking lot (which is half the fun).   Jaime (Blueboy) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 05:01 pm:    and of course I'm just fucking around with you anyhow!! knew and agree with what your saying. Jaime   Kennith P. Whichard III (Kennith) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 05:18 pm:    Wait... Is California not the state that recently passed a law making it illegal to release carbon dioxide? Cheers, Kennith   charlie Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 08:09 pm:    BAD research!!! Everyone who took Statistic 101 can comment on these so called researched. Ok, say you randomly interviewed 100 SUV driver/owner and found that 70% of them are self centered. What does that mean? To me, it may means that most SUV owners are family men and most family men are self centered (just an assumption). Or it can mean anything else! You can just make up your assumption here. Poorly done research. Damn, cat has 4 legs but it doesn't mean any 4 legs animals are cat!   Paul Grant (Paulgrant) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 08:38 pm:    Just to add my two cents, again. The research that established the profile of the typical SUV owner was not done by the author of this particular article. Nor was the research done by K. Bradsher, the author of the book "High and Mighty" which, in conjunction with A. Huffington's recent anti-SUV ad campaign, has touched off such a firestorm in websites such as this. The research, the profile, these characteristics that so many here on the DiscoWeb find so offensive are the result of market research conducted on behalf of the auto manufacturers. These tendencies found in typical SUV owners were discovered by people working FOR the auto industry not against it in an attempt to better target and market product to future customers. OK, I am going to leave now and I'll make sure the door doesn't hit me on the way out. Happy trails.   KJ Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 10:29 pm:    But Paul how does one quantify a trait such as self-centeredness? It's not like the narcissists I know THINK they are that way. *I* might say someone is self-centered, but is that something a scientific evaluation would identify (accurately, whatever that might be in this very subjective case) and tabulate? I mean, if I say gp's easy, does that make him easy? LOL, sorry gp, I just wrote the first thing that came to mind, heehee... I'm not taking a swing at you Paul, I'm just asking how a market reasearcher would evaluate and quanty a personality trait like that. Karen   KJ Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 10:32 pm:    Lord, See Typo City in my above post. Last line was meant to read: "....how a market researcher would evaluate and quantify..." kern da tiper   Curtis N (Curtis) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 11:34 pm:    I think Paul is on the right track. I also agree with at least some of what the author says. In particular this part: "Oh but it doesn't stop there. Only a small fraction of SUVs are ever used for actual work, or for their off-road capabilities, or by people who actually need them for inclement weather or for their hauling utility." See, I consider myself to be the person who uses my Rover for off-road use, inclement weather, and work. Your "typical" SUV driver does not. Most SUV drivers I see never go off road and do drive like shit. The guy has a valid point, and he actually leaves room for exception for people who have a true reason for owning an SUV. Curtis   GregH Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 11:40 pm:    Karen, BTW, what was so DEEPLY disturbing in SF? GregH   Robert Sublett (Rubisco98) Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 11:54 pm:    "insecure and vain. They are frequently nervous about their marriages and uncomfortable about parenthood. They often lack confidence in their driving skills. Above all, they are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in their neighbors and communities. They are more restless, more sybaritic, and less social than most Americans are. They tend to like fine restaurants a lot more than off-road driving, seldom go to church and have limited interest in doing volunteer work to help others." ...I think my wife is cheating on me, I've never had any of that nasty dirt on the side of my rig, if I did, I'd run it through the full service wash immediately, I hate my neighbors and F*&K my community, I suck as a driver, that is why I drive 4000 miles a month and venture into hellacious crap at least once a week with my job, but I actually don't do volunteer work because I have a real job which requires 50+ hours a week, I don't go to church either.. Damn, I fit the profile don't I?? Here is one of my best friends...   KJ Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 11:59 pm:    Curtis, It's a VERY slippery slope to start down, that of justifying and rationalizing every purchase or action one takes, let alone weighing in on these decisions for others. Everyone's idea of excess is different. A Honda Civic can carry 6 passengers, as can a Cadillac. A house can be a few hundred square feet or many, many thousands square feet. How many pairs of shoes, socks, drawers, pants does any individual "need" to own? Who decides who "drives like shit", and does that mean the shit drivers aren't entitled to drive what they want to drive? Sure, I don't want a lousy driver to ruin my day, or anyone else's, but beyond traffic laws being enforced by the police, what are you going to do about it? Glad the aspect of the article you referred to makes you feel validated, but I don't need some stranger writing an article to make me feel good, or justified, in owning my Rover. Once more, my position is until somebody else pays my way, I get to call the shots in my life. This is not intended as a personal attack on you, just food for thought. I drove my Rover in the snow today, but had it been sunny and perfect it still would have been mine and felt peachy-keen to me. Lest this discussion deteriorate into silliness like, "What about child abuse, is that a personal choice?", and the like, I'm talking about vehicle selection here. Last time I checked, this was still America. I can drive what I like as long as I'm licensed to do so, and the protestors can complain about me. Karen   KJ Posted on Saturday, January 18, 2003 - 12:12 am:    Greg, We were staying in a very nice small hotel in SF having breakfast in the first floor dining area. The front door of the hotel was positioned right next to the walk-up counter where you could buy take-out food. A homeless man (well, he looked homeless, I didn't get his address), came in quietly, holding out a dollar bill and asking to buy a croissant. The man had money, and was visibly quaking as he asked to PAY for food they were ostensibly selling. Immediately two staffers jumped up and man-handled him out the door. They THREW him to the pavement, where he fell. I was FURIOUS and had a heated word with the manager about the incident. It was sickening and THEY created a scene where there needed to be none. Does this sound like the raging liberal city some here seem to refer to? This was only one of several nasty things I saw on that last trip I took to SF. I'd been there a couple of times before and that last trip made me never want to go back. Karen   Robert Sublett (Rubisco98) Posted on Saturday, January 18, 2003 - 12:30 am:    Yeh Karen, what was that homeless bum thinking trying to buy a croissant at a very nice hotel, glad they kicked his a$$ and you took up for them You know, the homeless are just like us but.. they have no homes.   GregH Posted on Saturday, January 18, 2003 - 12:36 am:    Hmmm...Sounds like assault and battery to me. I wonder what would've happened if you called the cops? (although I wouldn't have stayed there after that 'cause you never know what would've been in your food after that-LOL) I must say that your experience was different than any I have had in many years of visiting. I grew up in a small town, Paradise, CA in Northern Calif and my view of SF has always been from having SF (and LA too) political agenda's forced on those of us living in rural areas. My 2 cents GregH   Paul Grant (Paulgrant) Posted on Saturday, January 18, 2003 - 07:39 pm:    Karen, With regard to your question about quatifiying certain traits or tendencies all I can offer, not being invloved with market research, is that the people who do this sort of thing have been able to hone their skills to a remarkable extent. I am well aware of the ways that polls can be manipulated and statistics can be read in the effort to get the results that are most desirable. Again, the key to all of this, for me, is the fact that this contentious profile was formed by market researchers hired by the auto industry in an attempt to help target future customers, their wants and needs. What I find most surprising within this community is the lack of outrage over the fact that the 4X4 market has been hijacked by the proverbial "Soccer Mom" and the "Office Park Dad" who would never in their wildest imagnation use these vehicles for the for intended purpose. In all honesty, there is no real reason for this explosion in SUV sales. The desire for these vehicles is a purely manufacturered desire created by the industry and fueled by the hundreds of millions of dollars in ads developed by the very people who created the profile at the root of this controversy. The fact that SUV sales represent such a large proportion of new car sales doesn't signal to me the beauty of freedom of choice. Rather, it stands out as a classic example of market manipulation and the power of advertising which has become so pervasive and so effective that it should come as no surprise that such a purely manufactured "want" could be so quickly transformed into an absolute "need." I often wonder about certain cultural phenomena such as Starbucks Coffee Co. If your ever visit one, while on line waiting for your drink, think about the product that is being sold. You will see, with a high degree of regularity, people consuming drinks like Frappachinos, Mochas, Carmel Macchiatos, ect. that can cost upwards to $4.00 a cup. I am curious about what these consumers drank before the advent of these highly specialized drinks? I also wonder where these adults got their morning suger and fat fix before Starbucks came along? Please, in no way misconstrue this observation as being critical of the consumer, however, I can''t help but feel that this is yet another example of a manufactured "need" created by marketing and advertising. At the root of it all, for me, I feel that the average consumer isn't even aware of the levels of manipulation that are exerted upon him. Is he solely to blame? No, but as I said in one of my earlier posts on this thread, it is extemely important that we be mindful of our conduct and alert to the ramifications our choices may have because none of us lives in a vacuum.   Phillip Perkinson (R0ver4x4) Posted on Saturday, January 18, 2003 - 10:45 pm:    Its the COOL thing to do duh.   Curtis N (Curtis) Posted on Sunday, January 19, 2003 - 12:49 am:    Karen, Nothing the author says makes me feel validated. I take care of that for myself. I also love plenty of the excesses available in life and take advantage of as many as I can. However, this has nothing to do with whether the author was right or not. IMHO - he is and he makes valid points. People have the right to buy whatever their money can purchase. I am all over that. Capitalism is king. Still, this does not change the fact that most SUV owners are: "insecure and vain. They are frequently nervous about their marriages and uncomfortable about parenthood. They often lack confidence in their driving skills. Above all, they are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in their neighbors and communities. They are more restless, more sybaritic, and less social than most Americans are. They tend to like fine restaurants a lot more than off-road driving, seldom go to church and have limited interest in doing volunteer work to help others." In my experience these are very real statements. It is also my experience that when purchasing a used SUV, one should actually check the transfer case or CDL to see if it can actually lock up. Many times it can't. On PT 4WD systems if you do not put in 4WD every month or so, they do not get lubricated and can sieze up when you need them to work. This only goes to illustrate what the author is saying. What he is also saying might also apply to BMW and MB owners as well. That is cool. I have owned both and consider myself an exception (well, maybe the self-absorbed part may apply ) My point is that just because the statistics are justified does not necessarily mean they are an attack on ALL SUV owners. People should not be so quick to jump out in defense against his stance, and I wouold seriously wonder about those who do. Curtis   KJ Posted on Sunday, January 19, 2003 - 10:48 am:    Curtis, The funny thing about the paragraph you quote is that it reminded me of something else from years ago. Someone wrote a parody of horoscope columns that was filled with wild generalizations, perversions and was completely hilarious. It said things like, "You are insecure and rarely wash. You are prone to cheating on tests and stealing. You make love to small animals. You will doubtless die in prison." When I read the SUV article I wondered if the author wasn't pulling our legs a bit. Perhaps he wasn't, but with all things horoscope-like, some things will fit the reader, and some won't. How do you think people like John Edwards get wealthy? "I'm getting a name starting with a "J"....could be John, or Janet, or Jason, or Jimminy...." Yeah, could be. Karen   Paul Grant (Paulgrant) Posted on Sunday, January 19, 2003 - 02:58 pm:    Okay, I'll say it again...just for the sake of beating a dead horse AND because I have time to kill before our 6pm reservation at a new "upscale" restaurant...let's not shoot the messenger! Like it or not, these characteristics were found by marketers doing research for the automotive industry. Granted, this profile may be framed in a inflammatory way and may focus on the most aggregious tendencies found in SUV buyers but let's face it, this is the type of person that Ford, GMC and Daimler Chrysler are going after! We should be furious with the manufacturers not the author of this particular book. Why aren't SUV's as advanced with regard to passenger safety as a modern car? Why aren't they more fuel efficient? What about diesel? What about the lack of a CDL on a Land Rover? I could go on and on! We off-road enthusiast have lost the power to influence the very market we defined years ago! I think that this is the message for us to take from Bradshers "High and Mighty." It is not as though Bradsher is unwilling to admit that SUV's can serve a useful purpose in certain situations but really, who's going to argue in favor of all of these overweight car/truck hybrids that would be hard pressed to do what a Subaru Outback could do?   Tom Rowe Posted on Wednesday, January 22, 2003 - 03:22 pm:    I wonder how they would classify *me*? A "liberal" who would have voted for John McKain before Al Gore. An "econazi" who has always owned Land Rovers and was a logger. Someone who doesn't go to fancy resturants because I don't like valet parking (and I'm too cheap). Someone who bought their first touch tone phone just 3 years ago (and only becuase some VRM systems cannot be used if you have a rotary phone) Someone who has never owned a microwave, but I do have 6 computers at home, including an IBM Nefinity 7000 server. Someone who is adamantly opposed to the death penalty, but who would do my best to kill (in as painful way as possible) anyone who messed with my kids or ex-wife. Yes, I do own guns. Someone who, aside from my (small) mortgage, only has $4,000 of debt total, and *that* scares me. And on and on I'd love be in a marleter's survey, but I alwways fail the screening questions :-(   Paul Grant (Paulgrant) Posted on Thursday, January 23, 2003 - 09:29 pm:    I bought the book "High and Mighty" so that could really see what everyone was getting so worked up over. KJ, I think you owe it to yourself to at least go to Borders or your local book shop and leaf through the pages. Bradsher does make a number a valid points and it is true that the bulk of his sources are either working for the big three or serve as consultants to the industry. David Bostwick, marketing director at Chrysler is the one who said "We have a basic resistance in our society to admitting that we are parents, and no longer able to go out and find another mate. If you have a sport utility, you can have he smoked windows, put he children in the back and pretend you are still single." Thomas Elliot, Honda's executive vice president of North American operations said "The people who buy SUV's are in many cases buying the outside first and then the inside. They are buying the image of the SUV first, and then the functionality." Ed Golden, the design director for Ford responsible for the Explorer and Expedition calls them "An image vehicle...they look like they were not created for fashion, they look like they'll be here tomorrow. The SUV is almost llke a utility boot." Fred J. Schaafsma GM's top engineer in intial vehicle planning said "Sport Utility owners tend to be more like, 'I wonder how people view me." Daniel A. Gorrell, v.p. at San Diego based Strategic Vision and long time Ford marketer can be attributed with saying that buyers are "very self-oriented, less giving, less oriented towards others." Basically, a whole lot of that restless, sybaritic,, antisocial stuff can be linked to his research. Jry P. Hirshberg, Nissans recently retired president of North Ameican design had this to say about us. "When Europeans think about safety, they think about a light, agile car. The American image of safety is, put a tank arund me, get as much ass as posible and let Isaac Newton work his magic." Some of the most amazing comments come from Clotaire Rapaille who worked very closely with Bob Lutz at Chrysler. He is the individual who came up with the 'reptillian' notion of design based on Jungian archetypes! "I think we are going back to medievil times, and you can see that in that live in ghettos with gates and private armies. SUV's are exactly that, they are armored cars for the battlefield." He contends that "women were telling me, if you drive a convertible with the top down, the message is 'Rape me!'" He goes on,"my theory is the reptillan always wins. If there's a crash, I want the other guy to die." The most startling thing about this guys view is that he won't drive an SUV because he has a fear of rolling over! Instead he drives a Porsche because "a Porsche is safer." I've only read a quarter of the book, it is a fast read, but as I said in my previous posts, it's not the messenger we should be furious with.   Todd W. McLain (Ganryu) Posted on Friday, January 24, 2003 - 04:59 am:    "American image of safety is, put a tank arund me" If I could afford to trade my Disco in for an Abrams, you better believe I would. I guess that would make me even more selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, insecure and vain since I would have also have a big gun.   Pugsly (Pugsly) Posted on Friday, January 24, 2003 - 11:17 am:    What about the stereotypes for other vehicles? Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars Acura NSX - I am impotent Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart) Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall. Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall. Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports. Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year. Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp. Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above) Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler MGB - I am dating a mechanic Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic) Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet Volkswagen Cabriolet - I am out of the closet Volkswagen Microbus - I am tripping right now Volkswagen Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife   Dean Chrismon (Chrismonda) Posted on Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 11:32 pm:    Okay SUV drivers stop wiping your ass and wearing deodorent becuase if not, you are supporting terrorism...   Tom Rowe Posted on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 09:31 am:    Dean, I know it was a joke...but it does remind me that I'm sick and tired of all this "[insert pet peeve here] supports terrorism" Drugs, SUV's, oil..whatever. We've had a lot of presidents and elected representatives support terrorism. Much money for terrorism comes from legitimate business. Does this mean we should not be electing people (that's a rhetorical question BTW) or not supporting any businesses? I am so sick of pat answers to complicated issues.