| Author | Message | ||
     Stacey R Abend (Srafj40) New Member Username: Srafj40 Post Number: 34 Registered: 03-2003 |
AXIS OF EVIL WANNABEES by John Cleese Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils...best at being evil...we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool." International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable". With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them. | ||
| Greg French (Gregfrench) Senior Member Username: Gregfrench Post Number: 288 Registered: 11-2002 |
Great! I can totally hear his voice as I read it! I just bought the "Holy Grail" dvd. Watched it yesterday. It has a lot of cool extras on it. It is a 2 disc set. Lots of typical python silly behaviour. | ||
| Jim H. (Victor_mature) New Member Username: Victor_mature Post Number: 26 Registered: 02-2003 |
This is a little out there but, for reasons I won't get into, I sent a letter to Michael Palin (of Python fame)telling him (among many things)that if he's ever in Phoenix to call me, and my wife and I would buy him dinner. I never thought I'd get a response but I got a letter from him the other day, really, a hand-written letter thanking me for the invitation and saying that he'd keep my name and number in his 'pocketbook' and give a call if he's ever in Arizona. He mentioned that he's leaving soon for the Tibetan Plateau and that if he makes it back he'll need all the "warmth and friendship he can get". So far I'm the envy of all the Python fans I've met. Jim | ||
| Read (Read) New Member Username: Read Post Number: 25 Registered: 11-2002 |
Jim, "So far I'm the envy of all the Python fans I've met. " You are soooo right. Read | ||
| Bill M. (Circekat) Member Username: Circekat Post Number: 181 Registered: 03-2002 |
We want a shrubbery!!! | ||
| Kevin Bridges (Craniac) Member Username: Craniac Post Number: 72 Registered: 02-2003 |
Bill Did you cut down the largest tree in the forest with.....a Haring? | ||
| Stacey R Abend (Srafj40) New Member Username: Srafj40 Post Number: 39 Registered: 03-2003 |
You know, I read this to my wife and she found non of it the least bit funny. Then again she does not know the difference between an African and European swallow. Stacey | ||
| Greg French (Gregfrench) Senior Member Username: Gregfrench Post Number: 291 Registered: 11-2002 |
I want to be Jim! | ||
| David Gage (Davidg) Member Username: Davidg Post Number: 129 Registered: 02-2002 |
I am sorry, but this bird is no more! He has ceased to exist! | ||
| Greg French (Gregfrench) Senior Member Username: Gregfrench Post Number: 295 Registered: 11-2002 |
I took the liberty of examining him when I got him home, and I discovered that the only reason he was on the perch in the first place was because he had been nailed there... | ||
| David Gage (Davidg) Member Username: Davidg Post Number: 130 Registered: 02-2002 |
I have a slug you can have. What good is a slug? (pause) Want to go back to my place? Thought you'ld never ask. | ||
| Kennith P. Whichard III (Kennith) Senior Member Username: Kennith Post Number: 277 Registered: 05-2002 |
"I'll take it, but only of you let me watch!" Cheers, Kennith | ||
| Shawn McKenzie (Shawn) Member Username: Shawn Post Number: 52 Registered: 10-2002 |
The birds not dead! He's pining... pining for the fjords. I never wanted to work in a pet store. I wanted to be a lumberjack... in Canada | ||
| Todd W. McLain (Ganryu) Member Username: Ganryu Post Number: 181 Registered: 10-2002 |
Shawn, Am I to take it that you are currently a weather forcaster? Anyways, the birds just resting. | ||
| Eric Ratermann (Ericrat) Member Username: Ericrat Post Number: 42 Registered: 08-2002 |
Well of course he'd been nailed there. He's muscle up to those bars, bend them apart with his beak and FOOMPH! | ||
| Greg French (Gregfrench) Senior Member Username: Gregfrench Post Number: 300 Registered: 11-2002 |
Mate..That parrot wouldn't "FOOMPH" if you put 4 million volts through him! The Norweigen Blue?...Beautiful plumage. This is almost turning into a game here. Someone should type in a line from a Python skit, and the next person types the next line, then a line from another skit. | ||
| Shawn McKenzie (Shawn) Member Username: Shawn Post Number: 54 Registered: 10-2002 |
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory! On Wednesday's I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea!... We're here for your liver... The truly sad part is we're packed up for moving and I don't have a TV available to cheat. | ||
| Greg French (Gregfrench) Senior Member Username: Gregfrench Post Number: 302 Registered: 11-2002 |
But...I'm using it. Is this the right room for an argument? | ||
| Stacey R Abend (Srafj40) Member Username: Srafj40 Post Number: 41 Registered: 03-2003 |
Greg here you go: High pitched British female,(bf), voice- "Hello who's there"? Enthusiastic British male voice,(m)- "Burgler" |
