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Michael Villanueva (Michael)
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 10:45 pm: | 
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I am looking for suggestions on this topic.
Here's the scenario: From when Angelita was 4 till about 9.5, whenever we were in the backcountry, or while we lived in Hopi, if the dirt road was not to gnarly, I would let her drive while she sat on my lap. At first it was "guiding driving" with me guiding / holding the wheel, (but I always worked the pedals), but after a year or so, she got pretty good at steering, and it was pretty much hands off on my end.
By the time she was 8, she was getting good at picking a line and carefully going over rocks and what not. When we got the DSII, she got better and better: We would go fossil hunting and I would scan the cliffs with binos while she drove and my wife kept an eye on her.
Now for the past year, all that instruction suddenly ceased. Now all I hear is "When do I get to drive again?"
The practical problem is that now at 10 she is too big to sit on my lap -- and she really could work the pedals if I let her. The psychological problem is that she used to be able to do something cool with dad on a very regular basis, and now she can't -- and now I am hemming and hawing and sounding like... well.... like an adult.
And there's the rub. I am not sure I want to let her actually take that step of solo driving. Dunno if I can handle the passenger seat....
Yikes!
So my question here is have any other dads encountered similar scenarios? How did you deal with teaching wheeling to your chillen? What steps did you take ensure safety of all? What age did they start with you?
I very much would appreciate suggestions and observation.
Dunno..... install a kill switch?
Thanks
Michael |
Mike B.
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 10:50 pm: |
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I grew up on a farm. Our parents let us drive at an early age out of necessity. I'd not be too worried, just contine on the path you are going. Start out with something easy with you sitting in the passenger seat. Then progress in the same manner as you have been. If it makes you feel any better, keep your hand on the parking brake!
Thanks,
Mike B. |
PerroneFord
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 12:29 am: |
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I let the eldest girl do some driving. But I never let her shift out of low-range second. Not a lot of harm to be done on a desolate forest trail going 15 mph! In the end, it turned out to be a good way to get her used to driving and looking at obstacles, and learning to handle the truck.
It's a good thing you've done with your daughter. Not so much the driving, but making a connection with her that gives you quality time. That cannot be underestimated. Do whatever it takes to keep that relationship. Her important (and your difficult) years are yet to come, and the relationship you create now will bond the two of you later.
Good luck dad!
-P |
Craig M. Highland (Shortbus)
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 12:39 am: |
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Craig M. Highland (Shortbus)
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 12:41 am: |
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Sorry, not sure what happend there:
http://www.atving.com/
How about some wheels of her own?
Craig |
James F. Thompson Jaime (Blueboy)
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 10:09 am: |
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Interesting post by Craig as I also am going to suggest the same concept. I learned to "drive" with go-karts as a kid many, many moons ago. The scale is right for the situation. ATVs are similiar. Then when she is tall enough to reach the pedals in the LR or whatever, see will have most of the basics already mastered.
Jaime |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 10:50 am: |
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Well, color me slow -- I never thought of the handbrake strategy. And I never thought of getting her some smaller wheels.
We are heading for Hole in the Rock in a couple of weeks. So I know the issue will come up with a vengence,
Hmmm..... Maybe worth it to see Burke's face as he spots a 10 year old??
Hehehe....
Michael
Anon cause of stupid Bill Gates and his limited PC technology.... |
Curtis
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 01:41 pm: |
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Mike,
I agree with Mike B on this. Kids are very capable. At the tender age of 8 my uncle started taking me to a parking lot in an old Ford Courier (Pre-Ranger) four speed manual pickup. He put sofa cushions behind me and under me so I could reach everything. He took his time teaching me what to do. I did this on weekends until I was about 14. Only now can I appreciate the time and patience that he spent teaching me these vital skills.
It was cool though. By the time I was 10 I was driving a Chevy “Big 10” (1 ton) pickup on public streets in Houston. Heavy as hell clutch, and big to boot. I will never forget the expression of panic on my mothers face as we accidentally drove past her one day. She had no idea I knew how to drive. Big secret.
The point is: get her behind the wheel. The more she learns now, the better she will be when she is legal. I don’t know if I would go out on public streets, but dirt roads and trails should be fun. Besides, with that bumper you can run over about anything 
We are thinking of shooting down to Moab this weekend for a little family retreat. Are you guys interested?
Curtis |
Ho Chung (Ho)
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 01:52 pm: |
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damn moab talk all over.  |
Kim S (Roverine)
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 03:46 pm: |
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Michael,
Well, I'm not a dad, but I think what you've been doing with her is great. I can see your dilema here, now that she is 10 ... All of the suggestions (IMHO) above are good ones - Especially what Perrone said. Since this is daughter #2 for you, I'm sure you well understand the importance of that father-daughter connection. FWIW, (LOL) take it from me, (who grew up in an all girl family, and also raised one of my own) it's my opinion that girls seem to have more common sense at 10 years old than they do at 12 - 13 on => that's when that special antenna in their brain develops and starts receiving alien signals from an unknown planet somewhere way out there. My dad let me drive (with him) on dirt roads when I was about 13 (then again, the man lost most of his hair, LOL). I really wish we would have done that with our daughter ... the driving instructor at her school (who had 13 years experience with this, BTW) said that when out on the road with our daughter, she had never had a student do some of the things my girl did, i.e. driving up a lawn and into a wall while turning a corner, slamming to a dead stop 10 feet behind a stop sign .... It never really improved too much
If you think she can handle it, I would say let her drive a bit. Trust your instincts, and good luck 
Kim |
Michael Villanueva (Michael)
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 08:11 pm: |
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Ok, you all convined me to give this a try. The die has been cast -- I'll let her drive in a couple of weeks. Pillows, handbrake, low-low range, and a couple of beta-blockers sound like the ticket.
I know what you mean Kim. However, from my vantage point I have seen how often things between dads and daughters turn south when her breasts start to emerge. Seems all the fun and games and wrestling and fighting and tickling dry up real fast when the little one's body starts to change. Dads get real uncomfortable about that stuff and invariably he stops the play and the kid starts wondering "where dad go?" So I hate to see me do the same thing albeit in a different time frame.
Yikes! Off on another psychologial off-road trek!
Appreciate the feedback; and I know she does to (although I will never, ever let on that I asked for advice about this issue).
Must be a male thing.... |
Michael Villanueva (Michael)
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 08:18 pm: |
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Curtis: Moab? This weekend. Naw. Searching south of Zuni for some property to buy. There are a couple of lots (100-300 acres) accessible only w/ a genuine $X$ that I want to look at.
Besides: I think she is already starting to pick up Alien signals. Seems she wants to see some little dude play basketball.
Tell me that is an innocent sign....
Anywho, we are wheeling in the Southwest portion of New Mexico this weekend and tHAT is where Angelita could do some driving. |
PerroneFord
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 08:53 pm: |
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Micheael,
Your daughter is going to need to seperate around the time her body starts developing. It doesn't mean you let go, it means you make contact in a different way. Just be as supportive as you can. I've just 15 year old I'm dealing with at the moment. Went through the same thing. But now that she is more comfortable with her new "self", everything is all good. I get to hang out when the boyfriend is otherwise occupied! The 17 year old is a lost cause!
Being a dad to a daughter isn't easy, but can be very rewarding. It's really nice to hear that you are interested in keeping a close relationship with her.
I also coach teenagers and have for almost 10 years so I see a LOT of dads in the same position you're about to be in. Helped me a lot with my own.
-P |
Curtis
| | Posted on Friday, April 12, 2002 - 01:46 am: |
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Mike,
Moab is out for us this weekend after all. I am starting to feel like a cyber-wheeler now. Maybe I'll give Ho a shout and we can go virtual rock crawling...
I'll E off line
Curtis |
Michael Villanueva (Michael)
| | Posted on Friday, April 12, 2002 - 10:03 am: |
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Ahh stop yer whining. Join us for part of HIR --
Be fun and you can help teach Angelita to drive (notice the spelling!).
And you can see the amazing KVT in true action! I am secretly writhing with laughter on the thought of receiving winching instructions from Bill Burke. Oh dear God.... the Universe has such rich irony!!!!!
So join us at Halls Crossing, come into HIR with us (three days), then get yer ride back at Halls.
Just don't be like some folks on this list: Don't be a cheap bastard. I detest the assumptive sense of entitlement, secretly counting, how can I coast, attitude withtn outwardly friendly bean counters.
And bring Bennet. |
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