By newroverman on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 06:47 am: Edit

Can someone explain this lucas thing...ie they mystery of lucas ect ect

im new, forgive me, im curiouse
i see it mentioned all over the place so , please do tell

By Leslie N. Bright (Leslie) on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 07:00 am: Edit

Many British vehicles' electrical systems are made by a company called Lucas.

British vehicles have an earned 'notoriety' for having quirky electrical systems.

Thus, Lucas is blamed.

+++++++
Lucas, the Prince of Darkness.

Q:Why do the Brits drink warm beer?
A:Because Lucas made the refrigerators.

Gentlemen do not go motoring about after dark.
+++++++

Actually, most Jeeps are rotting in a junk-yard long before they get to the point that problems in the electrical system start to show up. Go hop in a 40-year-old unrestored Land Rover, and although you will have all sorts of quirky problems, it'll probably still run. Rovers just last long enough to let the problems show up.

Having said that, even my relatively 'trouble-free' '99 Disco has some electrical oddities... can't keep a clock bulb lit; sometimes you turn the switch and nothing happens, but turn it again and all is fine; etc....

The other day when I pulled off the original spark-plug wires to put on the Magnecors, my wife commented:
"Ah, I see that you're de-Lucasfying it!"

-L

By Scott A. Keen (Scottkeen) on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 07:04 am: Edit

I get things like this from my Dad who owns an British MG-TD,

The Great Lucas Prophet said,

"All Bristish cars, regardless of condition or age, shall always have at least one system or subsystem of components which is entirely non-functional, and which cannot be repaired except on a semi-permanent or semi-functional basis." (Also known as the "Lucas Electrics Law".)

"Any component of a British car which is entirely unknown to the owner shall function perfectly, until such time that the owner becomes aware of said component's existence, when it shall instantly fail."

By Leslie N. Bright (Leslie) on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 07:07 am: Edit

Sounds like the theory behind an Infinite Improbability Drive (also British in origin).

-L

By Ron on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 07:08 am: Edit

The lucas three position switch:

Dim, Flicker, and Off

The lucas high current 3 postion switch:

Smoke, Smolder, and Burn

Ron

By Scott A. Keen (Scottkeen) on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 07:08 am: Edit

More Lucas Jokes from my Dad (and his MG car club)

>>

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, as they all look the same ?" "He replied, it does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas denies having invented the darkness. But they still claim the "sudden, unexpected darkness"

Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off. The other three switch settings - Smoke, Smolder and Burn.

The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou...

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo - It sank!

It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they meet too much resistance.

Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered
which did not suck.

QA called and told the Engineering they had trouble with his design shorting out so he made the wires longer.

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: " Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."

Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency that's all.

By Carl E. Cedeholm (Cederholm) on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 07:55 am: Edit

Infinite Improbability Drive (havn't heard about that in a while)
thank's for the memories.
Carl

By Chris Merritt (Smokinbro) on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 08:17 am: Edit

all correct except for the beer - absolutely excellent!

By The Dolphins on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 08:50 am: Edit

So long, and thanks for all the fish...

By Chris Merritt (Smokinbro) on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 09:49 am: Edit

42

By MTB on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 04:36 pm: Edit

The British like to spend more time putting on the wood veneer on the dash. than correcting the electical problems.I think I heard that on a movie somewhere.

By Horness Spencer (Horness) on Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 09:44 pm: Edit

Like it. Lucas really are responsible for about 90% of the electrical problems in vehicles.

My previous car was a Vauxhall Vectra, which contained many lucas engineered parts. I managed to get through 2 sets of bulbs a year, without fail. Sometime the main beam was bright, sometimes I used my MagLite.
Neither Vauxhall nor I ever found the problem!

Spent the weekend disabling the Lucas alarm/immobiliser on my Disco I a couple of weeks ago. Real B*tch.
Clifford works a treat now though! ;-)

Love the jokes Scott.

Horness.

By Discosaurus (Discosaurus) on Friday, September 07, 2001 - 04:38 am: Edit

So, you don't like Lucas stuff 'eh ??
You think it unreliable ??

Well....I've got two words that should make you happy you've got Lucas...


Magnetti-Marelli


Actually, if you own a Disco 1, you've got some of that too. heheheheheheheheh

keith
discosaurus

By Ron on Friday, September 07, 2001 - 05:20 am: Edit

Fix It Again Tony!

MM

Hehehehe

Ron

By mike w on Monday, September 10, 2001 - 02:14 am: Edit

discoaurus is correct, i had an older Ducati with the magnetti-marelli elec. components on it. a safety note: never go to a biker bar and make fun of hardly-davidsin while riding an M&M equiped Ducati. bad trip!