Funny Craigslist ad
- Thread starter ezzzzzzz
- Start date
That's a good one. This morning my neighbor with an 8 month old and another on the way was extoling the virtues of the Honda Odyssey. Right now he has some sort of suped-up Dodgecar SUV, not sure exactly what it is but it looks pretty nice (for a Dodgecar). I politely nodded my head about the Honda minivan and said yeah they are nice while I'm thinking that this poor fuck is doomed.
You can either pay dollar money for a Honda Odyssey, or you can just give the dealer your testicles.
Same for a Yaris.
Salesman: "$24,000 or your balls."
Douche: "Well, I don't really have any use for these things, so here, take my balls."
Meh... Just about every vehicle has its purpose. For about 3 years, I drove a plug-in Prius back and forth to work, and it allowed me to use the HOV lane, saving ~30min each way every day. At the same time, I was able to plug-in and charge the battery for free at work, reducing my fuel cost to almost nothing. I recently sold the car for ~$2k less than I paid for it brand new, out the door. It was one of the best, most practical vehicular investments I've ever made. At the same time, I kept my D2 for the weekends, and wheeled the hell out of it.
But it was emotionally draining to drive such a boring car every day. In November, I replaced it with a BMW M3.
But it was emotionally draining to drive such a boring car every day. In November, I replaced it with a BMW M3.
last line is the best. It can make any man examine not just ones car, but also ones life.
"so get this car, let it lull you into a long life of contempt and mediocrity."
"so get this car, let it lull you into a long life of contempt and mediocrity."
If I was cursed with a long commute I could definitely see doing the Prius or some other nondescript 4-banger. Just think of it as riding a private bus.
I drive 100 miles a day in a '12 Chevy Cruze. It's a economical car with no electric hybrid bullshit. Gets 46mpg if I really try(I don't anymore). I have not had to put brakes on it yet and I'm north of 120,000 miles.But it is for sure a soul sucking experience to spend 2 hours a day driving it.
But the biggest reason I'll keep driving it till the wheels fall off is how cheap it is to fix the piece of shit. I hit a deer last month. Almost got the car stopped before I hit the thing. She was still on her feet standing on the center line when I went by. Cracked the bumper cover and broke the headlight. So the bumper cover will cost me like $40 and the headlight cost me $80. Aftermarket shit parts but I don't care even a little bit.
I drove a '12 or '13 Chevy Cruze for six weeks in Kauai in 2014. However small Kauai may be, our daily commute between where we stayed and where we worked was, according to Google Maps, an hour and 55 minutes one way.
Chevy Cruze was an absolute blast on Waimea Canyon Road; we eventually got that time to an hour flat. Most of this time was spent with both feet on the pedals, and manually shifting the gears.
My commute was 28 miles each way, and between 35 and 70 minutes, depending on time of day.
Range Rover: 16 mpg or less sitting in traffic, premium fuel
Grand Cherokee: 18-20 mpg, lowest octane fuel
But now my office is at home again.
I don't even put on pants any more before going to work.
Range Rover: 16 mpg or less sitting in traffic, premium fuel
Grand Cherokee: 18-20 mpg, lowest octane fuel
But now my office is at home again.
I don't even put on pants any more before going to work.
No.
Absolutely not.
Years ago, my friend remodeled his house, and he put in a toilet paper roll thingie with a phone & radio.
I'm not generally in the bathroom long enough to be jammin to the radio, not that I've listened to AM or FM radio since 1978 anyway.
Do NOT call me from the bathroom.
Just no.
When I goto a public restroom & there's a guy in the stall having a conversation, I like to make super loud fart noises.
Because what the fuck is the matter with you?
Yeah, you're a multi-tasking motherfucker.
And your time is SO fucking valuable, I have to share your attention with taking a shit?
How's fuck you?
Does that work for you? Cuz it totally works for me.
And I don't use speakerphone. EVER.
Nor do I hold my phone in front of me at arm's length, and yap at it, then move the end of it toward my ear, holding it horizontal the whole time.
I understand that it's important for you to make sure everyone can see you're using a cell phone.
News Flash!
We ALL have cell phones.
We're unimpressed.
There's this really neat thing about phones; if you hold it like a regular phone (remember that thing on the wall at grandma's house?), there's a little speaker next to your ear, and a microphone right next to your mouth.
It's almost like it was designed to be used like that.
As long as I'm on a rant...
Hey! Fucking Retard holding the headphone wire so the little mic is up against your lips!
STOP IT!!
When the guy on the other end of the call says he can't understand you, THAT'S WHY!!
The mic is designed to be down there, below your chin, on the dangling wire.
Just fucking talk.
Asshole.
I worked with a guy who dropped his phone in the shitter trying to multi task wiping his ass and getting bitched at by his wife. Somehow got it out before it was destroyed. From that day forward if his phone was ringing and he couldn't hear it. I would yell at him " shitphones ringing". Sometimes I know he's on the shitter when I talk to him cause the eco. I only call him out on it if he's bugging me about something. If I'm asking him for something I don't want to start that argument again.
