So, after weeks of getting bullied and pushed around by a shirtless Vladimir Putin, President Obama decided he might need a image makeover. “I know what will help to ‘toughen up’ my image,” said Barry. “I’ll learn to hunt.”
After asking around, the President came to the conclusion that the only way he was going to be able to learn to hunt in a timely fashion was resort to professional help. “Carney, call and set up and appointment with those Duck Dynasty guys.” Within a few hours and at the cost of millions of tax-payer dollars, Air Force One was in route to the Louisiana backwoods.
After having their beards frisked, the Robertsons finally sat down with the President to figure out what kind of hunting he was interested in. “Well,” said the President, “I’ve never hunted anything in my life so I really have no idea where to start but, I do know that I’m 100% anti-gun so, is there any way to hunt with out using a gun?”
Phil says there’s nothing he can do to help the “citified” President and leaves the meeting.
After the rest of the family stopped laughing, Uncle Si says he may just have an idea.
“I used to see my neighbor, Thibodeaux go out in the woods every morning and come back with a mess of squirrels,” said Si, “but I never seen him take a gun or his dog Phydeaux. One morning, I went out and met him and asked him if he was trapping them squirrels. He said, ‘No, I just ugly ‘em to death.’ Seems all you gotta do is go out in the woods and sit real quiet next to a tree. When a squirrel comes around, you just jump out from behind the tree and make the ugliest face you can. It scares the squirrel so much it just drops out of the tree and hits the ground, dead as a doornail.”
The President was skeptical but decided (it being the only idea offered up) to give it a shot. Sure enough, within a couple of hours, Si and the President returned to Phil and Kay’s with a mess of squirrels and the whole family gathered for some of Miss Kay’s famous Squirrel Dumplin’s.
“Robertsons,” said the President, “I know we disagree on most everything but I think we can all agree this is an amazing meal and I want you to know that I had a great time today and really feel I’ve learned something. I can’t wait to get back to the White House and when Michelle gets back from vacation, I plan on taking her squirrel hunting, too.”
“Mr. President, I don’t think thats a good idea,” said Phil. “I’m pretty sure she’d tear ‘em up too bad.”
