Weddings on Holidays

[Welcome to Hell A]

I am in need of opinions, and I think I remember something about this site and opinions.

What do you think, or how do you feel, when a wedding is planned on a holiday? Holiday = something nationally recognized, like: 4th of July, Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, x-mas. Would you want to go more or less? Do you feel any holidays are sacred and should never be the same weekend as a wedding?

Since I'm asking for opinions, I should give mine. I really don't like weddings that happen to be on holidays. Weddings don't belong on the same day as something you celebrate traditionally for another reason, and only cause people to have to choose between the two.

I can understand both sides of the coin, but I don't particularly like the one side. Yes people only get married once, and it's their day, and family and friends should help celebrate. However, it feels as though the wedding party can occasionally ask too much.

Help me out here.

 

[Slappy]

Weddings on holidays suck. period.

 

[michaels]

Yes people only get married once

.

maybe fifty years ago.

 

[J. Toronado]

I like weddings around holidays. Say a day or two before. That way you get to stretch the celebration out and no one gives you a hassle for being drunk on July 2nd.

 

[Ol'Drippy]

We got married on Memorial Day weekend... makes it easy to remember my anniversary

 

[stu454]

Weddings should not be on holidays.

Ours was the weekend before July 4th.

 

[FIVESPDDISCO]

It is not fair to your friends and families,you are asking them to choose between you and what they normally do on the holliday.

 

[Ed Cheung]

You are not planning it on Halloween aren't you??

 

[robertf]

A friend of mine got married on memorial day. It was kind of a pain in the ass to burn a 3 day weekend, but now my friend is automatically out on any plans we all do that weekend. Sucks for him in the long run. Sucked for us in the short run but we made up for it at the open bar.

 

[Welcome to Hell A]

We have been invited to her nephew's wedding, which is on the 4th of July. I immediately said, "I'm not going" which became a large cage match fight in the middle of the restaurant. To top it off, she's been asked to be a bridesmaid, which further complicates things. It's a huge WTF for me when anybody plans weddings on a holiday.

Pretty much out of principle, I will not go. But it isn't easy this time under the circumstances, and it could turn into a big deal with the whole family. Not sure if I care.

I've already been accused of avoiding her family's get-togethers, whether it be barbecues, thanksgiving, x-mas... Usually because of my work. I actually enjoy their company.

Traditionally, my friend throws a huge 4th of July party at his house every year. There's that, too.

 

[chris snell]

You're going.

 

[robertf]

make sure you get ripped and bring fireworks. Maybe shotguns and a hand thrower too, depending on where the reception is.

 

[group captain mandrake]

Mrs. Ness & I were married on July 4th. It was a wednesday, the ceremony was at 2pm, so it didn't interfere too much with people's drinking plans.
It was a beautiful outdoor wedding, the weather was perfect, we had roast pork loin for a picnic style meal, a couple of kegs, and of course a massive fireworks display in the evening. It was a great day.
Now we always have our anniversary off work, & many times have a three day weekend for a short getaway; last year we went to St. Louis, this year we went canoeing/camping.
Works out great for us & doesn't impose on anyone else.

 

[SilverJ]

We have been invited to her nephew's wedding, which is on the 4th of July. I immediately said, "I'm not going" which became a large cage match fight in the middle of the restaurant. To top it off, she's been asked to be a bridesmaid, which further complicates things. It's a huge WTF for me when anybody plans weddings on a holiday.

Pretty much out of principle, I will not go. But it isn't easy this time under the circumstances, and it could turn into a big deal with the whole family. Not sure if I care.

I've already been accused of avoiding her family's get-togethers, whether it be barbecues, thanksgiving, x-mas... Usually because of my work. I actually enjoy their company.

Traditionally, my friend throws a huge 4th of July party at his house every year. There's that, too.

Yeah, I disagree with a couple's choice to get married on a holiday, but it's not your decision now, is it? They chose that day for whatever reason- it's their day- let them have it and stop making a big stink about it.

Why cause all the problems? Are you that selfish? Sack up and go to the family wedding. Can you not sacrifice a few hours that will include a free meal and hopefully a few beverages? Everyone at this point knows how you feel. You'll only look good if you show up. No sense in not going, especially if your wife/gf is in the wedding- it will only make things worse when everyone asks her why you didn't show up- again.

So you miss your friend's annual party. Big deal. You'll get to go to it next year.

By showing up at the wedding you may just very well buy yourself a hall pass for the next few family events that you wish to avoid. Food for thought.

 

[Welcome to Hell A]

Yeah, I disagree with a couple's choice to get married on a holiday, but it's not your decision now, is it? They chose that day for whatever reason- it's their day- let them have it and stop making a big stink about it.

What big stink? Only my gf knows, and she understands.

Why cause all the problems? Are you that selfish?

That's what I was thinking about them.

Everyone at this point knows how you feel.

Nobody knows but the gf.

By showing up at the wedding you may just very well buy yourself a hall pass for the next few family events that you wish to avoid. Food for thought.

Ehh, I go to every family function I can, and it still isn't enough. This is the only family event I have wanted to avoid in the last 4-5 years.

As for sacking up, hah, you have no idea how much I sack up every time I go to see them. Drama city. There hasn't been an occasion in which at least one family member wasn't invited to someone elses get-together/bbq/party as long as I can remember...for good reason. For the record, I like almost every single one of them. Cool people, poor choice of wedding day. If it were on a Wednesday like Group Captain Mandrake's 4th of july wedding, I would think much higher of it.

 

[jwest]

I just think it's kind of weird to want a wedding ON whatever holliday. Same weekend is maybe ok, but on the exact day is just like you can't go do something on your own because it's scarey.

it's sort of cute to propose on a special day, but the wedding ought to be all it's own special day- they are missing the point of having a special celebration.

of course none of this would be an issue if they are of non-american heritage because the "4th" would have no relevance to them.

-

unless anyone asked you though, I guess it's irrelavent because they have their own reasons no matter how silly.

 

[Justin Kurosaki]

Weekday weddings suck as well.

Yes it is THEIR special day, but having dozens of people having to take extra days off or not spend their holidays with their family is a little selfish.

I guess it would be different if all of the guests were local.

 

[jwest]

so, this could be looked at from another approach - one of support and introduction of fun for the sake of everyone.

first off, make sure the actual vows/ceremony occurs outside.

next, carefully plan for some fantastic fireworks to go off right after "the kiss".

you'll either be the hero of the wedding party, or won't have to bother with those family get-togethers anymore

 

[SilverJ]

What big stink? Only my gf knows, and she understands.

I immediately said, "I'm not going" which became a large cage match fight in the middle of the restaurant.

Sounds like a big stink to me.



In terms of my thoughts to your reactions coming off as selfish(not you, just the way you are reacting),

That's what I was thinking about them.

Pretty much out of principle, I will not go....Not sure if I care.

Sounds kind of selfish, or at least careless, no?

Nobody knows but the gf.

yes, but the family thinks otherwise, based on your history of no-shows, regardless of the reasoning. See below.

Ehh, I go to every family function I can, and it still isn't enough.

I've already been accused of avoiding her family's get-togethers, whether it be barbecues, thanksgiving, x-mas...Usually because of my work.

Look, you asked for other peoples opinions on this matter, and I gave you mine. Don't get all sore because I called it like I personally saw it.

Is it selfish to schedule a wedding on a holiday? Perhaps. Is it selfish for you to cause a scene in a restaurant just because you don't want to go even though your g/f is an honorary participant in the wedding? Perhaps.

What are you going to do on the 4th otherwise, tour a Veteran's Cemetary and pay your respects in honor of those who fought for our independence, or are you going to go a beertastic partay with scantily clad women, straw hats and fireworks galore? It's ONE day! But, it really sounds like there are already issues between you and your girl because you don't want to go. Why push the matter? Why bring your girl down, too? It's not her fault- she didn't schedule the wedding date. But, you are putting her between a rock and a hardspot, and that's not fair either.

You think you got it bad? I'm in my best friends wedding in September. Guess who doesn't get to lead trails at the LRNR in Moab this year??? At least it's on the Outerbanks. I'm going out there early and have booked an offshore charter for a full day of fishing Tuna, dolphin, and possibly marlin or sailfish. So, not a total loss.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

Or, you can be a sourpuss. Your call. Personally, I would go with jwest's suggestions above.

 

[Ray Wallace]

Having been married on July 4th, I can attest that there is NO problem with a holiday wedding. That was the only day that summer I could get off from Marine Corps duty. 49 years later, it still works out ok, with no divorces, an easy-to-remember date, usually lots of fireworks to celebrate, and lots of wedding guests had the day off and could attend. My Marine buddies also had that day off, so we had a large military wedding, lots of partying to celebrate "independence", and I was almost drounded in the morning water polo game. A day to remember. No problem having a wedding on a holiday!