Neighbor Hassles

[Chris-St Louis]

I live in a cul-de-sac. My house looks like everyone elses.... Everyone can picture it.

Lived there for 12 years, as did my neighbors. We get/got along great. I would snoblow everyones driveway, and fix their cars sometimes, and everyone overlooked the cars I had parked outside...Not junk cars, but broken ones.

6 months ago we get a new neighbor who is insane. She staulks me when I walk my dog, and yells at me to not let my dog shit on her grass (I havent/wont).

In the last 6 months, I have had 3 incidents involving the police, from parking the wrong direction, to unlicensed (The kids car I was working on) and such.

Each time, the officer indictaed they were responding to a call.

I have had it! I want to irrate her with the same vigor...Not break any laws, not damage anything, just irrate her.


I need ideas.

 

[az_max]

Just smile and wave politely as she's yelling and screaming. This drives people nuts more than retaliating against her. she thinks you're going to do something to her and is expecting it, but nothing bad ever happens.

 

[Chris-St Louis]

Hmmmm, Thats a very un-discoweb answer.

I was thinking advertising a garage sale at her house, wendsday to sunday...Everything must go.

 

[az_max]

Hmmmm, Thats a very un-discoweb answer.

I was thinking advertising a garage sale at her house, wendsday to sunday...Everything must go.

Oops, sorry. must have been in LRO mode


Put an ad on CL for free furniture and fixtures. Do it when she's at work or on vacation. Maybe offer the plants/trees in the yard for free if they remove it.

 

[Chris-St Louis]

Funny, yet destructive, and possibly illegal. If I knew I coudl gt away with that, I most surely woudl do it.

 

[jhmover]

Get a video camera and keep it with you or nearby at all times. Whenever she starts shit start it up. The old bag next door neighbor I used to have quit everything when we started taping. Me, the wife, both my sons, whenever she was doing shit we go the cam out. After a few times of that she shut up and left us alone.

 

[Chris-St Louis]

Love that! I just might do that.
Maybe put a camera on a tripod right in front of her house?

 

[jhmover]

Now we had a neighbor like that when I was in school. We did the following campaign, after awhile he finally left us alone.

1. Soap on his lawn so it would foam when watered.
2. Burn obscenities in the lawn with liquid bleach, which gradually appears as the lawn turns brown.
3. Throw eggs when he was out mowing or watering (I'd spot from the front bedroom, my brother would throw the eggs from the backyard over our house and across the street - he never could figure out where they were coming from.
4. We harassed the shit out of his gay-assed kids at school.
5. We egged his house (I'm talkling 2 flats of eggs) the week after he had it painted.
6. Ordered pizzas, then the delivery guy would show up and he'd deny ordering them and shit would ensue. Finally got to where no pizza parlor in town would deliver to his house.

All would probably get you arrested nowadays, but you wanted suggestions!

 

[Two Cold Soakers]

Depending on which way the wind blows, some skunk essence might be in order.

http://www.fntpost.com/Products/Tinctured+Skunk+Essence

Wear rubber gloves and leave them at the scene.

 

[az_max]

know anyone with a white or black kidnapper van? black out the windows and park it in front of her house for days at a time. Antenna on the roof of the van help the illusion even more.

 

[Chris-St Louis]

YES! F-ING PERFECT! I do have a line on such a vehicle.


edit - Love the skunk. Wonder how much I need to make a lasting impression. Will it attract more skunks I wonder?

 

[Skaramunga]

start having people over more and more frequently. have bbq's, parties galore. make her pay, play music during the day while you work on rovers. use some jams like ozzy whilst you wrench it up. hang out in her face where she has to see you all day long, & sometime into the night.

 

[braves6117]

Cameras work wonders...

Even if they are fake, make sure she see's exactly why your putting them around your house.

That will in the very least stop her from acting out.

 

[jhmover]

Some of those fake cameras mounted where she can see them might be fun.

 

[Ballah06]

I d say doing anything obviously intrusive, i.e. loud music, parties and such will only get her to call the police even more. Find the dirt on her, anything at all (illegal improvements to the house, shit not up to code, etc etc) and report it if necessary. Doing the obvious like egging the house will only get you in trouble. Outside cameras are a good idea, as mentioned earlier. Check out www.brickhousesecurity.com for ideas.

 

[jhmover]

Post on Craigslist there is a gigantic party and give her address then watch the fun.

 

[Drillbit]

Have someone go to a stone company and pay for a ton of landscape rock, its less than a hundred bucks. Give them her address and tell them to make sure they get right in the middle of the driveway as you don't want them to mess up the lawn. Thats a fun one to get rid of. That and go through that massive porn stack we all assume you have and send all the cupons to her address. Then there is always poopsenders.com

 

[jhmover]

I'd say a yard of steer manure would be better than landscape rock.

Edit: Man I am starting to feel left out without a Garrett avatar.

 

[stolenheron]

put roadkill somewhere on her property.

 

[jhmover]

How about Liquid Ass?? LOL....


http://www.liquidass.com/neighbor_revenge.html